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Likelier

Action vs. inaction regret

Telling the full truth vs telling a white lie to spare feelings

If you act

Telling the truth

25%

If you don't

Telling a white lie

25%

Percentage who later regret each choice. Bars and full ledger render below.


Lifestyle

Last reviewed 2026-04-26

Evidence quality 4.13/5

Eight-dimension review score against the quality rubric . Each dimension scored 1–5.

D1 Source verification
5/5
D2 Source authority & independence
5/5
D3 Regret-rate accuracy
2/5
D4 Source comparability
3/5
D5 Gilovich pattern
5/5
D6 Prose quality
5/5
D7 Caveat completeness
5/5
D8 Sample quality
3/5
Average 4.13/5
Two speech bubbles side by side, one with clean sharp lines, the other with soft blurred edges.

Action regret

Telling the truth

25%

no direct regret rate exists; shown at parity with the white-lie proxy (~25%) — honesty studies report net relationship gain, not strain

US adults, experimental sample

10-week longitudinal study

Inaction regret

Telling a white lie

25%

~25% would not tell the same lie again (proxy — DePaulo diary study)

US college students and community adults, diary study

retrospective, 1-week diary period

% who regret this choice

balanced — Roughly balanced — both choices carry similar regret.

Related decisions

Semantically similar decisions — same territory, different trade-offs.

lifestyle

Apologizing

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 2.0× higher

lifestyle

Overthinking decisions

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 2.6× higher

lifestyle

Follow parents vs. own path

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 3.2× higher

lifestyle

Confessing romantic interest

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 1.8× higher

lifestyle

Admit serious mistake vs. cover up

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 2.9× higher

lifestyle

Initiating reconciliation

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 3.3× higher

lifestyle

Cut ties vs maintain friendship

% who regret this choice

Inaction dominates

Inaction regret 1.4× higher

lifestyle

Share sensitive story publicly vs. keep private

% who regret this choice

Action dominates

Action regret 2.4× higher

No study has ever measured how often people regret telling the truth. Kelly and Wang’s ten-week Notre Dame study — the closest thing to an honesty experiment — reports only the opposite direction: in weeks when participants told fewer lies, their close relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly, and that relational gain statistically accounted for the study’s health benefits. It gives no week-level breakdown and no figure for relationship strain, so there is no measured truth-telling regret rate to report. The action side is held here at parity with the white-lie proxy to signal that ambiguity, not a measured cost. On the other side, DePaulo et al.’s landmark 1996 diary study of 147 Americans found that people tell between one and two lies per day — roughly a quarter of them “other-oriented,” told to spare someone’s feelings. When asked which of their lies they would tell again given a second chance, participants said about 75% — meaning roughly 25% of everyday lies are ones the liar would take back. That 25% is the closest the literature comes to a direct lie-regret rate from a systematic diary method. Interactions containing lies were also rated as less pleasant and less intimate than honest ones, and subsequent work by Cohen and Levine found that people randomly assigned to lie felt less connected to their partners than truth-tellers did — even when the lies were prosocial.

The case for honesty is not as clean as it sounds. Levine and Schweitzer (2015) demonstrated across four trust-game experiments that prosocial lies actually increase benevolence-based trust: participants who were deceived for their own benefit trusted the deceiver more, not less. Kelly and Wang’s 2012 Notre Dame study — where half of 110 participants were instructed to stop lying for ten weeks — found that the honesty group reported fewer mental-health and physical complaints, but the mechanism was relational: health improved only when honesty also improved relationships. When it did not, honesty carried a real interpersonal cost.

The balanced regret pattern reflects a genuine stalemate in the literature. Neither blanket honesty nor reflexive white-lying dominates in long-term regret. The action side carries no measured regret figure at all, so it is shown at parity with the inaction-side proxy (25% of lies people said they would not repeat); the two are close enough to constitute statistical noise given the thin, differently-designed evidence base. The most defensible reading is that context — who you are talking to, what is at stake, and whether you have earned the standing to deliver hard truths — matters more than any universal policy of honesty or diplomacy.

Sources: action

Claim ledger

Every number below is what each source reported, with the verbatim quote we relied on and how we arrived at our figure. Click any link to verify directly.

1/2 sources independently verified verbatim against the cited source

  1. [1] University of Notre Dame / APA — Study: Telling fewer lies linked to better health and relationships Verified
    Study: Telling fewer lies linked to better health and relationships
    Statistic
    In weeks when participants told fewer lies, they reported that their close personal relationships had improved and that their social interactions overall had gone more smoothly; this relationship improvement statistically accounted for the health gains
    Excerpt
    “"When participants in the no-lie group told three fewer white lies than they did in other weeks, they experienced on average about four fewer mental-health complaints, such as feeling tense or melancholy, and about three fewer physical complaints, such as sore throats and headaches." ”
    Source data from
    2012-08-04
    Accessed
    2026-04-26
    Verification
    Excerpt independently re-fetched and confirmed word-for-word against the cited source during our grounding audit.
    Calculation
    Kelly & Wang (2012), presented at APA Annual Convention. 110 participants over 10 weeks. The honesty group reported that relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly in lower-lying weeks, and this relationship improvement "significantly accounted for" the health gains. The study reports NO week-level distribution and NO figure for relationship strain, so no direct truth-telling regret rate can be derived from it — the earlier "27% of weeks did not improve" proxy had no basis in the source and has been removed. Because no cited source states a truth-telling regret rate, the action side is held at parity (0.25) with the DePaulo-derived white-lie proxy on the inaction side, reflecting the literature's genuine ambiguity rather than any measured action-side regret. This is a proxy value, not a directly reported figure.
  2. [2] Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes / Wharton — Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust
    Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust
    Statistic
    Across four experiments, prosocial lies increased benevolence-based trust; blunt honesty reduced perceived warmth relative to kind deception
    Excerpt
    “"Prosocial lies increase the willingness to pass money in the trust game, a behavioral measure of benevolence-based trust. Intentions are far more important than deception for building benevolence-based trust." ”
    Source data from
    2015-01-01
    Accessed
    2026-04-26
    Calculation
    Levine & Schweitzer (2015), OBHDP 126, 88-106. Four studies demonstrate that prosocial lies increase benevolence-based trust, implying a real social cost to blunt honesty. The trust-game paradigm showed participants transferred more money to prosocial liars than to selfish truth-tellers.

Sources: inaction

Claim ledger

Every number below is what each source reported, with the verbatim quote we relied on and how we arrived at our figure. Click any link to verify directly.

  1. [1] Journal of Personality and Social Psychology / APA — Lying in everyday life
    Lying in everyday life
    Statistic
    Participants said they would tell about 75% of their lies again if given a second chance; social interactions involving lies were rated as less pleasant and less intimate
    Excerpt
    “"Social interactions in which lies were told were less pleasant and less intimate than those in which no lies were told. Participants did feel a bit more uncomfortable while telling their lies, and directly afterwards, than they had felt just before lying." ”
    Source data from
    1996-05-01
    Accessed
    2026-04-26
    Calculation
    DePaulo et al. (1996), JPSP 70(5), 979-995. Two diary studies: 77 college students (avg 2 lies/day) and 70 community members (avg 1 lie/day). Key finding: participants said they would tell about 75% of their lies again, implying ~25% they would NOT repeat — the closest DePaulo provides to a retrospective regret rate for everyday lying. This 25% is a revealed-preference proxy for lie-regret, directly reported in the study.
  2. [2] Psyche / Aeon — Be honest: little white lies are more harmful than you think
    Be honest: little white lies are more harmful than you think
    Statistic
    People who tell more lies report feeling more lonely, even when lies were told to save relationships; liars felt less connected to conversation partners than truth-tellers
    Excerpt
    “"Research suggests that people who tell more lies also report feeling more lonely — even when their lies were told for the express purpose of saving relationships. When people were randomly assigned to either lie or tell the truth in a 'get to know you' conversation with a stranger, liars felt less connected to their partners than truth-tellers." ”
    Source data from
    2023-06-20
    Accessed
    2026-04-26
    Calculation
    Summary of Cohen & Levine honest-conversation experiments. Participants assigned to lie felt less connected; those assigned to be honest found it more enjoyable than predicted.

Caveats

Neither rate is a direct regret measure, and the action side has no measured regret figure at all. Kelly & Wang's (2012) honesty experiment reports only that relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly in lower-lying weeks — it gives no week-level distribution and no measure of relationship strain, so no truth-telling regret rate can be derived from it. (An earlier version of this entry showed 27% "relationship- strain weeks"; that figure had no basis in the cited source and has been removed.) The action side is therefore held at parity (~25%) with the inaction-side proxy, signalling ambiguity rather than a measured cost. The 25% inaction-side figure comes from DePaulo et al. (1996): when asked which lies they would tell again, participants said ~75%, implying ~25% they would not repeat — a revealed-preference proxy for lie-regret that is directly reported in the study, though it conflates all lie types (self-serving, other-oriented, etc.). No large-scale survey has directly asked "Do you regret telling the truth / telling a white lie?" The balanced pattern reflects genuine ambiguity in the literature. Context matters enormously: a white lie about a haircut and a white lie about a medical diagnosis occupy different moral universes.

Raw data: /api/decisions.json

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